The Third Trimester: Pondering the Past and the Prospective

I am currently sitting in Zoe's nursery writing this post while she kicks away in my belly. I can't say that I mind though because it is so wonderful to feel her vibrant life inside of me. This pregnancy has captivated me, and I have loved every stage. These eight months have made me feel like a student who is getting ready for a science fair. I've loved experiencing every change and learning all the miraculous things God has designed our bodies to do. My blood volume has increased by fifty percent, I've grown not only another human but a whole other organ to sustain that human, and my body is producing the perfect nourishment for her to receive after birth. I am simply captivated.

Time has flown by and the morning of October first seems so long ago now. I remember the silent joy that manifested itself as a smile while watching a second pink line appear. So much has changed since then. Zoe was the size of a blueberry the first time we saw her heartbeat on the big screen. The next time we saw her she was the size of a soda can and every organ had been developed. We found out she was a girl, and it was wonderful to start calling her by her name. At thirty weeks she was the size of a head of cabbage, and we saw her beautiful chubby cheeks and lips! In just a few short weeks she will finally be in our arms. The nursery has been set up for a while now, and all is ready for her arrival. I have kept myself busy, and we have spent a lot of time with friends recently. Jamie and I have gone on more dates in the past few weeks than we have in months because we know our lives are about to change and we are also finally debt free!

Aside from being physically busy I feel like I have been even more busy mentally. I am going to have an unmedicated birth if all goes well and that has taken so much of my head space. I believe that it is half of the battle when planning to give birth this way. So much time has been spent reframing my concept of pain. Suffering and pain are different, and they do not always go together. You can suffer without being in physical pain, and you can have pain without suffering. This pain is not happening because something is wrong. This pain is going to bring our baby to us. It is pain with a purpose. I will have to surrender to the pain as I allow each contraction to do its work. When I experience the "ring of fire" I will have to remember that I am so close to kissing my long awaited baby. There are affirmations that are stuck in my head, and that will be repeated to me throughout labor by my husband. He will be my rock and I know he will be the best support I could ever receive. I was made to do this, and I look forward to it with joy.

Even though I am eager and well prepared for birth I am realizing that I also need to prepare mentally for the fourth trimester. The fourth trimester is the hard and difficult few months of learning how to be Mom to the tiny baby who has just entered your family. This did not hit me until the last couple weeks of birthing class when we went over the postpartum period and newborn stage. I have to admit it threw me for a bit of a loop and sent me into a mild panic. I feel so prepared for labor and delivery. I feel prepared for that pain. Recovery is also painful though, and it's something I hadn't given much thought too. There will be so many hormonal and emotional challenges too. I may fall victim to postpartum depression like ten percent of women do. It is so great that they went over this in class though because now I can be a little more mentally prepared at least. Thankfully I have a husband, family, and friends that I know I can count on to help during the fourth trimester no matter what I may go through.

That last paragraph may have been a little grim, but I do still very much look forward to the newborn phase with joy! I know that it will go by so quickly, and I want to soak in the good parts as much as I can. I have absolutely loved the past four years of being married without kids, but Jamie and I are so ready for family life. I am trying to meditate on this past phase as I enter the new. I like to just thank God for the joy and also the hard teachable moments we have faced in marriage before getting here. There is so much more of that to come, I'm sure! I'm trying to enter this new stage more gracefully than I have in the past. For instance, I panicked deeply before walking down the aisle on my wedding day. Sounds awful doesn't it? There I was walking toward the man I deeply loved and KNEW was the one for me after four years of dating. I shouldn't have been second guessing myself, but I did anyway. It all melted away once I reached the end of the aisle though and I definitely have no regrets. Am I the only one who freaks out a little going into the next level in life even though you've wanted it for so long? I hope not anyway.

I've had so much love and support during these last eight months. It has truly overwhelmed me at times because I guess I wasn't expecting it. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to mind dump my words onto the internet. Maybe you're thinking the same things too and don't feel so alone now. I feel like we all go through the same things in life and have the same feelings without knowing they are normal, and that's why I share the way I do. We are so ready for Zoe to arrive, and I can't wait to share her birth story with you soon! Thanks for going on this journey with us.

#pregnancy #thirdtrimester #fourthtrimester #postpartum #unmedicated #naturalbirth